I fought with myself over this one

I did.  I fought with myself over whether or not to make this post and to make this public because it is bringing in some of my personal stuff to a very public place.

But then I thought, how are you ever going to help anyone if you refuse to talk about the hard stuff?

We all go through hard stuff.  I’m been at the bottom of a pretty deep hole for about a year and I’m working on climbing out.  It’s not easy.  It’s not pretty.  The ladder keeps having rungs missing and I keep almost falling.

But I’m still climbing.  And I’m making choices that are good and healthy for me and, you know what?  I’m not letting someone else’s fears, insecurities, or anger stop me from being the best I can be.

I walked away from a relationship not even a week ago.  I probably should have done so longer ago than that.  I’m not sure I should have been in it to begin with, and that’s my own doing.  No one else’s. I’m not saying this is anyone’s fault or that anyone did anything wrong.

But the truth of the matter is, I did make the decision to walk away.  To say “I am better than being treated like this”.

It was scary.  I didn’t know where I was going to go or really what I was going to do.  I thought I didn’t have any other options.

But, like all those amazing heroines I adore, I made other options.  And I continue to do so.

Thanks for letting me vent.  We’ll get back to our regularly scheduled programing shortly.  But for now, I am safe and I am, though scared, happy.  And I can be strong.

And I am better than being treated like that.

(I am NOT in any way expecting anyone to do anything.  But if anyone wants to know how they can help, because I’ve had people ask, here’s how: http://www.gofundme.com/raisedgeeky)

I’m baaa-ack!! (with something amazingly keeping me somewhat sane!!)

I’ve been gone from the internet, really, for quite awhile. I’ve been somewhat around, in that I’ve been keeping up with news and my friends, but I haven’t really been posting on any kind of regular basis in over a year. There’s a reason for that, many, actually, personal ones that maybe sometime I’ll get into, but right now, not so much on the front of my mind, tip of my tongue, or the list of things I really want to talk about.

You know how it is.

But yeah, I’m back now. As consistently as I can manage. Getting caught up on things I missed (Agent Carter, SHIELD, Walking Dead (though I’m actually caught up on that), Gotham (oh how I do love that show!!!), my comics, and even movies) and I’ll be ranting, babbling, and rambling about things on a pretty regular basis. But before I do that, I want to mention something. Something that’s been keeping my sane.

I’m going to go ahead and admit it: Even after all these years, there is very little in the world I have found that is nearly as cathartic as killing monsters.

Had a rough day at work with stupid co-workers? Go home and kill some monsters with huge swords. Had to fight through rush hour traffic (including, and yes you counted, 39 traffic lights) and stupid idiots that don’t know how to drive? Go home and throw amazing fire spells at annoying demons. Get in a fight with your significant other and need to blow off some speed? Go and shoot arrows and send your pet after pesky intruders.

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A hunter and her pet.  There is nothing prettier.  :P

World of Warcraft, whether intentionally or not, is an amazing stress reliever and, for that, I adore it. (Dragon Age comes very close, but there’s actual story involved in that one, so you actually have to somewhat pay attention, and therefore it’s not as good for mindless stress relief. But I will admit that killing a dragon is pretty freakin awesome.) It used to be a bit expensive as a stress reliever, since you had to pay a monthly fee to be able to play, and that got expensive very quickly, but since they started with “Starter Edition” program (where you can play up to level 20 for free)? Oh yeah – you better believe I’ve been taking advantage of that!!

I used to always play magic characters – you know, Mages and Warlocks, usually Blood Elves (I started as an Undead Warlock – I was over twenty, all my friends were in the Horde….yeah. I’m not sure I’ve ever played an Alliance character. I was SO happy when the Blood Elves were added – yep, I’m that dork that was happy to be able to play a pretty character! :P) but I learned last year that Hunters can be amazingly fun – sending your pet after something and watching them maul it while you shoot from behind safety? That’s fun. And, since I have that silly fascination with Daryl, Katniss, and Hawkeye? Yeah…I have a thing for bows. I’m willing to admit it.

You Should All Go See The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Right Now

As any of you who might follow me on Twitter might know based on the three am message, I went to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug at midnight.  I just couldn’t wait to see it; this is one I’ve been looking forward to for so long.  And I’m going to say right now: I adored it.

Now, before I get into this, there might be some mild spoilers, but probably only if you don’t already know the story.  Just be forewarned.

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Now, I’m not exactly a purist when it comes to the adaptations of Tolkien’s works.  Of course I would love a moment by moment, absolutely everything included, nothing left out and nothing added epic, I understand why that’s not what we’re going to get.  Adjustments to the story, as long as they don’t change the story, really don’t kill me.  That includes some of the adding of small things and side stories taken from either other places or inferred from the mythology that is the world Tolkien created.  There isn’t much of it, but what there is, I can handle.  Now, to the movie itself.

The movie is, of course, gorgeous.  It is, after all, made by the same people that did the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the first Hobbit.  I expected to continue to adore the casting, which I did, and even loved it more.  Each dwarf shows even more personality in this one, they become more of their own characters instead of all one mass character of “the dwarves”.  Martin Freeman is, of course, fantastic as always as Bilbo.  Without any actual lines dedicated to it, you can start to see the effects of the ring on him.  It’s subtle, but definitely there.  Richard Armitage, especially, I feel shines in the role of Thorin.  He really does a fabulous job with that character that could, easily, be seen or played as one dimensional and, to be honest, boring.  He brings life and depth to the would be king (seriously, what was it with Tolkien and “would be” kings?)

Now, the movie has its scarier moments.  There are chases and fights (that, for the actor in me, were AWESOME) of course, and there are some pretty seriously scary moments along the way (especially in the woods) that might be a bit much for younger children, but the moments are done well and they work and are, actually, pretty necessary.

As anyone who knows the book is aware, a good portion of The Hobbit is dedicated to the journey itself, meaning that there are times that those of us who selfishly want to see Smaug might feel it’s taking too long to get there.  This is the selfish fangirl in me, I know.

But let me tell you, that wait?  Is totally and completely worth it.  The first full sight of Smaug, fully up and in all his glory?  Absolutely bloody gorgeous.  They did an amazingly fantastic job on Smaug and it absolutely lived up to every (extremely high) expectation I had.  I.  Loved.  Him.

There were moments I could see what are probably Benedict Cumberbatch influences on facial expression (did you know that dragons can have facial expressions?  They totally can.  It’s glorious.) and movements.  The way Smaug moves, the way he talks, I don’t think he could be better.  They got it right (though, to be honest, I expect that from Peter Jackson.  I don’t see him allowing them to destroy something). 

The story leaves off in a good place for the conclusion and I was well satisfied by what I saw.  I can’t wait til the next one.

There were a few things that bothered me and I think it all boils down to one thing, something that plagues any franchise that attempts this move:  The movie is, technically and in all reality, a prequel to the Lord of the Rings series.  I know, shocker, right?  This story came first, in the same world, with some of the same characters and, therein, lies the problem.

All franchises that attempt prequels run into this problem – where there are characters in the prequel that we know, recognize, and love from the original movies, you really lose any ability to create much suspense with those characters.  Why?  Because we know, good and well, that they get through this movie just fine, because we’ve seen them before in the other movies, much older, wiser, and living and breathing just fine.  So Gandalf?  Bilbo?  We’re never really worried about their safety, no matter what situation they’re put in, because we know good and well they can’t die. 

The movie does a good job at trying to create and maintain some suspense and sense of danger anyway but, somewhere in the back of your head, you know its false, because you know, good and well, that Bilbo will be fine.  And nothing’s going to kill Gandalf.

But it doesn’t ruin the movie.

The thing that bothered me that I didn’t like was the inclusion of Legolas.  Now, I’ve heard some people say that, while he’s never directly mentioned in the books, he could easily (and likely) have been among the guard, as his father is the King.  I get that, and don’t disagree.  I don’t dislike the placement of Legolas in the story.  I don’t dislike why or how he appears or feel that it was forced.  I even understand Peter Jackson’s reasoning for bringing Legolas back instead of bringing in a random other elf we don’t know (if nothing else to tie to the other movies and, also, to give fans, who, as a whole, mostly adored Orlando Bloom’s Legolas, a bone with the character).

I don’t, however, like what they did with him.  Beyond the problem we have with there never really being any concern about him, the character itself feels so totally and completely different and wrong, somehow.  The character feels like some other character entirely, with a completely different personality and existence, who just happened to have the name “Legolas” slapped on him.  He doesn’t act or sound like Legolas, to me, at all, except that he’s amazingly proficient with the bow.  But the entire rest of his characterization is nothing at all like the character we know and love.  I wish they would have just let the character be another elf we don’t know.  It feels more, with his character, like this movie is the sequel, taking place many years after Return of the King, with a much older and wiser Legolas.

Which brings me to my other problem, which some people might jump down my throat for (and I’m prepared for it!).  The character of Legolas did not age well.  Don’t get me wrong: Orlando Bloom has aged beautifully.  He’s still just as gorgeous as he was 15 years ago, if not more so.  But it’s been ten years since Return of the King came out, twelve since Fellowship of the Rings came out and probably like thirteen or fourteen since the filming of those movies started.  Orlando Bloom is not as young as he was.

And, somehow, it shows through the make-up and character of Legolas.  He looks older, not younger, and, to be honest, it’s a bit distracting.  The make-up for the elf apparently does not age well at all.  I’d have to watch again to see what exactly it is about it that feels so wrong, other than just “it doesn’t look right and looks too old”.

All that being said, I loved the movie.  None of the small things that bothered me took away at all from how much I enjoyed the movie.  And seeing Smaug, those amazing scenes, are more than worth any irritations from other things.

The movie is fantastic and everyone should go see it. 

Now.

Why Moffat is Amazing (or Why I Love Day of the Doctor (and yes — HERE BE SPOILERS))

Okay, I kept silent overnight, but I can’t anymore.  I have to gush.  So, seriously, if you haven’t seen Day of the Doctor yet, and you don’t want to be spoiled, I would stop reading, now, and go watch it.  Now.  I’ll wait right here.

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Pretty filler so you won’t see anything.

So, anyone still here, I assume you’ve seen the 50th anniversary special Day of the Doctor.  If you have not, and I spoil anything for you, don’t complain, because I have warned you.  Spoilers, spoilers, spoilers galore.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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Last chance.

Okay, so you’ve seen it, or don’t mind being spoiled as to what happened.  Got it.

First gut reaction: amazing.  Literally, there were so many moments I was gasping or exclaiming at the television and one moment that literally left me so speechless I was on the verge of tears it was so beautiful.

The story itself is intriguing and, yes, there’s a reason for them all to be in the same place.  Moffat has done an amazing job, again, with writing this one, with taking it from here to there to over there in ways none of us would have expected and it is a thing of absolute beauty (yes, I do hate having to admit that sometimes, why do you ask? :P).  I’m not going to do a recap, as I assume you watched it, but there are some things I want to discuss.

We got a really good look at Gallifrey at the end of the Time War.  Not only the High Counsel or Command, but the people, on the streets.  The ones that burn when the Doctor (or The Warrior, or the War Doctor) ends the war.  Children, families, people that have no part in this war other than the fact that they happen to live on the planet that is home to the Time Lords (because, as we know, not all Gallifreyans are Time Lords).  The innocent bystanders.

And the War Doctor sees them too.  And we find out that what he did was not done at command of the Counsel or anyone else.  He stole the weapon and made the choice on his own of what to do because he felt it was what had to be done.

Now, I want to go off on a tangent here and say that, as I’ve been saying from the beginning, the War Doctor, what he did during the Time War, is NOT a secret and the Doctor hasn’t actually been trying to hide from it if his actions are any evidence.  He talks about it on a regular basis, holds it over enemies heads, does nothing to try to hide this form of himself, except when he’s discussing it in The Name of the Doctor and here in Day of the Doctor.  I expected that that to really really bother me.  And, in a way, it did.

But Matt Smith and David Tennant (we’ll get there in a moment but OMG THERE WAS DAVID TENNANT AND HE WAS SO GLORIOUS AS ALWAYS) had these amazing moments around John Hurt’s War Doctor (and John Hurt was so amazing and perfect) that I could actually believe, even knowing otherwise, that Ten and Eleven are and were not proud of what they did and actually did want to forget this man.  But, as Ten says at one moment, how do you forget something like that?  So I’ll give Moffat a pass there.  Because it didn’t nag me the whole episode.

And the rest of it was so amazing, I can let it go.

We finally got to see Ten and Queen Elizabeth I, which was just a throwaway line in The End of Time and an implied interesting history in The Shakespeare Code.  It was great.  Joanna Page was fascinating in the role and Ten was such a bumbling idiot it was awesome.  Part of me thinks it might have been Moffat poking at the fan girls – it didn’t matter what Ten did, how much of the angry streak he showed, we all loved him.  Devoted to him.  So does Queen Elizabeth.  I may be reading more into that than there actually is, but either way, I thought it was hilarious.

Because we got Ten back and it was awesome!  From Ten in a fez to the comparing of sonics to the glasses moment, the shoes, the fighting, the adoration between them, Ten and Eleven together onscreen was everything all of us ever wanted.  There were too many awesome lines and moments to repeat them all, but just know – Ten and Eleven?  They are awesome together.

And Eleven admits he regrets the decision.  After four hundred years of reliving it, he regrets the decision to wipe out Gallifrey.

Ten and Eleven show up, in the War Doctor’s reality and time, just so he doesn’t have to do it alone.  Just so he doesn’t have to wipe out his people alone.

And then there was Clara.  We didn’t really get Rose / Clara moments (I’ll get to that in a minute; I have some very specific thoughts on what Moffat did with Rose (brilliant!), so I’m hitting that one last) but both (in a way) are very influential on the three Doctors’ decision to try and save Gallifrey (by time locking it) instead of actually destroying it.  Clara, as the companion always does, represents us and she’s right – she’s heard the Doctor talk about the Time War and what he did, but actually seeing it, actually knowing that he, the He we love, is going to be the one to do it…that’s hard to stomach.  Hard to take in.  And her faith in him, he unfailing belief that he (all the Hes) is a GOOD person (well, Time Lord), changes his mind.  And they decide to save it and it’s a beautiful moment with Clara and all three of them (apparently, this version of Clara is the one for both Eleven and the War Doctor).

So, I sent a total of three tweet during the entire show, during things I was totally freaking out over.  When I realized what Moffat had done with Rose (a weapon with a conscious?  So awesome), at the end with the Tom Baker moment (get to that in a moment) and then, here, when the three doctors are on their screens, talking to the High Counsel, and all of a sudden there are other voices.  And we see other blue boxes.  And then it’s there – Hartnell.  Troughton.  Pertwee.  Baker.  Davidson.  Baker.  McCoy.  McGann.  And with a “Now for my next trick…”

There was my Christopher Eccleston.  There was my Nine.

I know, I KNEW, he didn’t come back to film anything, I can place that exact moment (The Parting of Ways, when Jack and Nine are coming to rescue Rose, just before the TARDIS materializes around her on the Dalek ship), but still, my heart jumped when I saw him because I love my Nine.  I was on the verge of tears and then someone in the Gallifrey High Counsel says something about there being twelve – no thirteen – and we see eyes.  Just a pair of eyes and then a TARDIS flying in, but we know those eyes. 

Capaldi.

I lost it.

Had I been in a theater with a bunch of people (I tried – sold out in under 3 minutes because there was only one theater in the southeast US showing it and they only had one screen.  When they opened another screen, it sold out in under 10 and wasn’t announced so…yeah), I probably would have screamed.  But I wasn’t.  I was at home with a few friends.  Can’t exactly scream.

So an “Oh my God!” and crying it was.

All thirteen Doctors were technically there and on screen at once, even if most of it was just archive footage (which I get, because most of the Doctors still alive don’t look like they did when they were playing the part (including when they regenerated) so they can’t easily come back to reprise the role (Davidson in Time Crash for Children in Need is a special case, because it was for Children in Need)).  It was beautiful and amazing and would make any Whovian cry.

For that moment, if nothing else, I thank you Moffat.

But there were still great moments to come.  And Moffat explains how the Doctor could change what happened in that moment without, change the entire narrative of the series, without actually changing the series – time streams out of sync, the War Doctor and Ten won’t really remember this (at the beginning?  Before he jumps into the time warp?  Eleven says “I remember this!  Well, kind of”) and that he will believe, at least until the moment Eleven gets involved, that he made the decision to destroy Gallifrey.  And they won’t know if it works.

I buy it.  It’s not even all that timey-wimey.

(Side note here to say that some people are a bit miffed that Moffat “ignored” The End of Time.  I don’t think that’s necessarily true.  The Gallifrey in The End of Time was time locked, they brought it back, everyone assumed that the rest of it was coming.  But we don’t actually see the rest of it, so it’s possible that Rassillion didn’t actually know what was going on (he wasn’t in the Counsel room when they told the Doctor to do what he needed to in Day of the Doctor) and that the time locked Gallifrey the thirteen Doctors created is what actually appeared.  This is not something that destroys anything canon in the series.  The Doctor believed that he had destroyed his people.  The universe believed it.  Just because it might not actually be true doesn’t change any of the things we know.)

So, two more amazing things.  One: Tom Baker.  Yes, I know that it technically came out last week (I also think I know where the “Eleven is regenerating” rumor came from – someone in BBC made a comment somewhere I’m sure either to the effect that “We see Capaldi” (which most people would assume Eleven would have to regenerate for) or that there was a regeneration (there is; we see Hurt’s War Doctor start to regenerate into Eccleston’s Nine (I was SO hoping we would see that finish and that Eccleston had actually filmed even a moment, but no such luck) and people assumed it was Eleven into Twelve.  But not so much!) but no one knows who or what it would be.  Because, as I said above, Baker is, sadly, too old to really reprise Four in any actual capacity.

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I know many many people that freaked out when they saw this.  So nice to include Classic fans!

But he didn’t.  I love how it’s not said but the implication is that it’s Eleven, at some point later, “revisiting an old favorite” face.  It was a wonderful moment for us, a nod to those Classic fans who wanted something, and an indication that, as we have all guessed, Capaldi won’t be the end of it (I have theories on that, but I’m not going to get into those here).

Now, for the most amazing thing I think Moffat did with this episode.  What he did with Rose.

Now it wasn’t actually Rose and, even here, it claims that it is Rose in Bad Wolf form.  But really, it’s The Moment, a weapon that developed a conscious (such an amazing concept and so awesome.  Love that!).  As it states, it chose a form from the War Doctor’s past (or future…”I always get those confused”), so it could have chosen anyone.  Martha, Jack, Mickey, Amy, Amelia, Rory, Donna.  Any companion or friend from Classic Who.  But it chose Rose.  Why did Moffat do that?

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I don’t know if he did this on purpose, but when I realized it last night, I hope he did, because it might be the most awesome thing he’s ever done (and he’s done some awesome things, like introducing us to someone we’re going to LOVE and adore by, you know, killing her) – Moffat showed us that the War Doctor regenerates almost immediately.  We already know (well, think we know) that the first place he ends up is London, with the Nestene Consciousness.  Thinking he’s blown up his people.  And then who does he meet?  This blonde girl who he can’t seem to allow himself to let go of.

He can’t let go of her because, even if he doesn’t remember it, that girl, in one form or another, helped save him from himself (John Hurt’s War Doctor says something about loving the “Bad Wolf girl” at one moment because she showed him exactly what he needed).  And she just does it again.

Moffat just retconned why Rose is so important to the Doctor, even if he doesn’t know and can’t explain it to himself (though I think he may have realized it during the Bad Wolf moments in The Parting of Ways, even if not fully consciously).  Moffat explained the tie between Rose and the Doctor in a way no one else could. 

Moffat just explained a question Whovians have been asking, about a character he didn’t create and only wrote for once or twice, and it might be one of the most amazing retcons I’ve ever seen.  Rose and the Doctor are more intertwined than we ever imagined and I think it’s awesome.

So, yes.  I loved the episode.  Adored it.  And, yes, it gives the Doctor some kind of purpose (looks like Capaldi might be going searching for Gallifrey!  Awesome!).

But the most beautiful thing (other than all thirteen showing up around Gallifrey with archive footage?) – the final moment when Eleven steps out and they’re all there.  We’ve all seen the picture, with all the Doctor’s faces, but here, all standing together – Hartnell through Smith.  It was beautiful.  And perfect.

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(Also, can we take a moment to appreciate that, under “The Doctor” in the credits there were thirteen names?  I squealed!)

Countdown to the 50th Anniversary Special, The Day of the Doctor

It’s less than 48 hours (less than 36, actually) until we get The Day of the Doctor, the Doctor Who 50th anniversary special and rumors are abounding.  Speculation is crazy.

And we are all like small children on Christmas Eve!

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The cover of SFX magazine, #241.  Gorgeous!

Rumors, as they will do, have grown and grown.  Rumors about who might be involved (apparently, since Paul McGann came back to film the minisode (have you seen it?  The prequel?  If not, go watch it, right now.  I’ll wait right here because, oh yes, here be spoilers) he and Moffat lie and now all bets are off (though I don’t agree with that.  They never said he wasn’t coming back at ALL, just that he wasn’t coming back for the 50th.  And he didn’t.  The prequel is a totally different thing.  Really), rumors about what might happen, rumors rumors rumors.

And, of course, we’re all loving it.

There’s a rumor that Matt Smith will regenerate at the end of this special instead of in the Christmas special.  I’m not sure I believe that one, because we’ve seen shots from him filming the Christmas special and I’ve seen a promotional poster for it (though it’s possible that wasn’t official or it was just to throw us off).  Again, I don’t buy all the rumors, but these are what exist.

Because of McGann’s return, there are now rumors about just about every single living former Doctor and whether they will return.  The rumor that Eccleston might return popped up very quickly (though I don’t believe that one for many reasons, the least of which being the circumstances around which he left the show.  I don’t know if he would come back, even if they asked, and I’m not so sure they would ask) and the rumor from July, 2012 that Tom Baker would be returning was seemingly confirmed by The Huffington Post. (Side note: can we just take a moment here to appreciate that Baker, in that interview, basically says “I was Doctor Who before it was cool”?  It makes me laugh.  I guess the scarf should have warned us that Four was a hipster.)  There are rumors that the Rose we’re getting is a version of the Bad Wolf Rose, or even the alternate dimension (Pete’s World) Rose, though I don’t think anyone believes we’re getting David Tennant as TenToo.  From the clip released during Children in Need, it appears we’re getting Ten during his travels (Smith’s Eleven seems to remember it) and, based on the inclusion of Johanna Page as Queen Elizabeth I (which has been confirmed), I believe we’re getting Ten somewhere between Journey’s End and End of Time, when he was traveling and told Ood Sigma he married “Good Queen Bess”.

We’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out, I guess.  And personally, I can’t wait.

But right now?  I want to talk a little bit about what we know, what we found out, for sure, confirmed, in that prequel minisode.  So if you haven’t watched it yet, go do so now.  I will be spoiling the entire thing in just a moment.

Here’s a pretty picture to look at so that there isn’t risk of spoilers!!!

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So, done watching?  Last chance to save yourself!

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Yes, they did it.  Paul McGann is back as The Doctor and finally gets his regeneration.  We also have official confirmation (from the “And Introducing John Hurt as The War Doctor”) that John Hurt’s Doctor X (Eight, before regeneration, says he will be “The Warrior”) is the incarnation between McGann’s Eight and Eccleston’s Nine (all my previous discussions on John Hurt’s Doctor X are here, here, and here).  We don’t really get a look at his Doctor (though we do see where he got the sash / belt thing, and it’s awesome) but the reflected glimpse we do get doesn’t look like the Doctor X we’ve come to know over the past few months.  Meaning that it’s possible this incarnation may have stuck around for quite awhile (meaning the Time War may have been much much longer than anyone anticipated) and may have aged during his time (or that the reflection is just not that good and it does look like we’ve come to love).  But none of that really matters.  Let’s go to what we have learned from this minisode.

McGann’s Eight didn’t regenerate until well into the Time War.  When the ship is going down at the beginning, and he shows up to save Cass, she refuses to go with him because he’s a Time Lord.  She talks about the war and about how the Time Lords are trying to destroy the universe (she specifically says they aren’t done yet because “there’s still some of the universe left”).  He remarks that he’s not a Dalek and she says he’s no better and who can tell the difference anymore.

The Time War wasn’t secret – and wasn’t popular.  The Time Lords were apparently NOT considered heroes as it was happening, but part of the problem (at least wherever Cass is from).

The Doctor adamantly maintains that it’s not his war, he’s not involved, not fighting it, and not about to help the Time Lords in an way.  The Sisters of Karn claim he can stop it, he can save the universe (yeah, yeah, we know), but he doesn’t want to listen to them.  He doesn’t specifically state why, to be honest, just that it isn’t his war and he has no part in it.  He’s a “Doctor” not a “warrior”.  The leader of the Sisters tells him he considers The Doctor title to also mean “A Good Man” and that he is a good man.  They state they will help him regenerate – he was hurt too badly, but they can jump start it and let him have control over it. (Side note – is that somehow going to affect the “regeneration limit” we have all accepted over the years (which I will also have more on later)?)  He chooses “warrior”.  States they don’t need a Doctor, they need a warrior.

So, is this why Eleven states that Doctor X isn’t the Doctor?  Because his purpose for existence wasn’t to necessarily help people (even if it did save the universe) because he knew that, in helping to stop the war, he was going to have to make the conscious and willing choice to kill people / creatures?

Okay, I get it.  I understand why the Time War Doctor would be considered, by The Doctor we all know and love, to not be a version of himself, of the healer and helper he has always tried to be.  But Eleven says, specifically, that this is an incarnation he has tried to forget.  That he has tried to hide.  So, though I have stated this before, I will state it again to make sure Moffat hears me:  the Time War Doctor is NOT a secret.

(Yes, yes, I know, he won’t read it, but it will make me feel better, ‘kay?)

The Doctor has talked about the Time War.  On multiple occasions, and not just to companions.  He has held it over enemies’ heads.  So many of the enemies he’s run into have known about it anyway.  I don’t care how much you need it, if you’re trying to keep something a secret – you don’t KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT.

If the ONLY thing this Doctor did was being a warrior, fighting in and ending the war, then I’m going to be a bit upset cause, well, there’s a lot of mystery about, well, nothing.  Nothing at all.

I understand the Doctor didn’t like what he had to do.  The Doctor has never quite forgiven himself for what he did.  I get that.

But that doesn’t mean it’s a secret and, if that is the only thing, I wish Moffat would have approached it differently.

That being said, I mentioned before about Doctor X pushed “the big red button” to end the war, but of course it would be more than that because, well, wow.  But – look at this image from the trailer.  What does that look like?

 Image

Yep.  I will literally laugh out loud if he pushes a big red button to end the war.

So here we go.  Countdown has begun.  30 hours and counting to the 50th anniversary and I couldn’t be more excited!!!

(Now I get to go get dressed and go see Catching Fire.  Excited for that one too!)